My life always felt so small,
Like I could only feel the ripples
Because I was throwing the stones
Into the velveteen water lapping at my ankles,
And there was surely no great landscape
Beyond the canyons on my palms;
Surely no magnificent oceans
Behind the tides in my eyes.
Yet I thought I felt everything tonight,
Pressing in from the dimly-lit
Corners of my bedroom.
I thought maybe I could feel
Something fragile and enormous
Made from echoes of the dreams
I had when I was sleeping,
And fractures of the ones I broke
While I was waking.
I thought I felt the rush
Of all the breaths I ever took
And every gasp of air I’ll breathe again,
Woven in and out of each other
Like fading lace.
I remembered a dream I had two nights ago
And wondered why it felt so real,
And why it felt so full of sorrow
Even though everyone was smiling.