This is not how I planned to spend my evening.
All I end up feeling is the equivalent of being punched in the face for two hours straight.
And at the end of the day, that’s not something I want to do.
Yet here I am, sitting here with a big, stupid grin on my face.
And all you give me is one word answers
And eventually silence.
Music to my ears.
My hand twitches on the edge of the table
Because all I want to do is upturn the already stale dinner
And scream while you pull noodles off that over worn dress.
But instead I just stare
And grin politely
While you silently slurp your soup
And leer once in a while.
I have no appetite.
Later, you’ll refuse to take off your jacket
As you press your hips towards mine
And my mind will drift to thoughts of the schoolyard
When I used to run from trailing girls
Afraid of imaginary diseases and unaware of real ones
All the while you’ll keep your arms at your sides
And my whispers of adoration go unanswered, or unheard