I still can not write about you.

Because every time, every single time,
I have to stop myself from seeing the world through my pool of tears.
It is as if I have to watch you grow from afar.
And I do, I see you grow -
without me.

I have so many dimensions in me, and yet none that I could release to find you again.
It is as if I have lost you, and that you have left, but you have never gone.
Not once have I not thought about reliving every particle of you.

Every time.
Every single time.
I see you grow - apart and away.