I now know what it means
To sit in bed and cry
At 12 am because things
Didn't go your way.

I know how it feels
To have what you want
Not be what you need,
Or what you receive.

I know how unreciprocated
Feelings sting for awhile-
I'm on page one,
While you're at least 10 ahead.

I know how it hurts
To have something so close,
Within grasp,
Only to slip away.

I know how it's a teaser,
A taunt saying
"You can look but you can't touch",
And how frustrating that is.

I know how anger bleeds into sadness
When all you want is an answer,
And it never comes,
No explanation.

I know how you felt,
I feel it all now.
I always thought that I had the upper hand
Until now.

I'd know I want to hate you for this,
To knock down your door and
Demand an explanation,
A rhyme for the reason,

But I know that you're gone.
There are no doors to knock upon,
No calls to be made, nothing left of us
Because I threw us away.

I know that we made a 180 in that
You became me,
I became you-
I'm lost and confused and angry and sad.

You're okay,
You're gone,
You're doing you,
You're moving along.

I know that I deserve this,
I really do.
So that forces me to accept
That I don't have the privilege of knowing you.