It's that time of the night again.
I hate going to sleep.
My thoughts, fears, and disappointments
come to me in a blinding fashion.
I'm overwhelmed, full of self hate and pity.
I turn around, holding my pillow to my mouth.
I hope no one hears me...
Then I cough out my sadness, I spill the tears.
I muffle any ragged breath that escapes my lungs.
I let out this deeply rooted pain, that is forcefully reserved
for the night.
I tried to fight it.
I tried to pray for peace within my troubled soul.
I feel nothing.
I'm overcome with emptiness.
A cold hard shell is formed yet again.
And that's how all my nights go,
so I dread every night since.
Longing to end my nightmare.