a sudden intake of breath, not a gasp, but something infinitely more subtle that's all i hear and i can tell it's not real pain because that comes later real pain is different is not even entirely physical just because it's real does not mean it's tangible and even so, it sounds different a plead a murmur a silent tear rolling down one's expressionless face because when real pain gets here no emotion can capture it and nothing can really help you're all on your own, dear there's no one coming, and crying isn't really going to help in fact, nothing's going to help you know that, though, don't you you're familiar with it hell maybe you should be the one warning me i know nothing, dear, and i'm frightened i don't know what to do i don't ******* know what to do help me, oh god, help me because i'm so alone, and afraid and it's dark, dear you know how i've always been frightened by the dark and now it's come back to haunt me no more nightlights flickering at midnight and maybe it's better this way maybe it means i can't see the shadows but still, darling it's still real pain it's still there whether you can see it or not whether you know what it is the hopeless feeling in the pit of your stomach that attacks when you're alone and silent have fun, darling