I've said it, I've addressed the person who's running amok
I know not if this person is happy or out of luck
Please do not reply with a "How dare you! It's ma'am!"
For I care not, I'm underpaid and you look like a man.

You've cut your hair short, you're not wearing a skirt
you're wearing a tie, and you've unbuttoned your shirt
your face is quite square, your shorts are revealing
your lips are quite chapped and your skin is pealing

No you are not a woman I believe,
you are but a poor impersonation,
a convincing outfit and look is what you must conceive
to cease my brain's mechanization

Luckily enough, he is but a ***
Living life poorly and craving for plum
the menu item speicial on this very day
is plump plum pudding with custard array

So I paid for a helping just to see him leave and go
So that I may enjoy, a bit of peace and a bit of- NO
THIS CANNOT BE, THERE ARE MORE FROM WHENCE CAME?
A man with a shopping cart? A woman with a cane?

"Just leave already, please! this is far too queer"
I prayed in my mind that they'd all just disappear
But no, there they were, all waiting in line
How many were there? Six? Seven? Nine?

No, they were endless but so goes the tale
Of an Applebee's worker working during an Applebee's sale