I didn't think it was this serious
because I know that you were happy.
When you said something
all I could do was call you and beg you to stop,
and in my head
I tried thinking of the last time I saw you,
the last time.
and I wanted to remember if you were smiling,
or laughing
or feeling any joy inside .
then I remembered that the last time I saw you
was not in weight training,
nor at my house
or in the halls
it was in a dream,
and that dream
might have been the only thing I have left
and it might be the closest
and farthest I will ever be from you,
but that dream was the last time I was with you
and the only thing you said to me in that dream was,
"I think I'm going to stay.....I'm gonna stay."

So that's how I know you're here,
and that's how why I know
you could be anywhere right now,
but wherever you are,
I know that you have a smirk on your face
and a hop in your step,
because you couldn't find that here.