For the faint of heart:
When I was a child I could not sit still
teachers took notice; offense to this
parents took me to the doctor
and we started up that hill
I took my first pill

A child of my time and place had no voice
we were hit like adults when we talked like adults
and when we were told to do something we had no choice

I was so stiff, I was the comatose mind of a dead child walking
my overactive mind sedated
they said I was intelligent, said they knew my kind
it always felt like there was something about me they hated
I was a first grader who couldn't sit still
and the doctor said give him this pill

Bottles rattle in my nightstand drawer on nights like tonight
faces of everyone I've ever loved, shoved into the back and outta sight
I want to forget, you won't go away when you're not even here without a fight
I push and ignore you, I don't even see you, I don't even want to
and still neurons send those fiery messages, torchbearers carry the light

Faint of heart, I am feint of heart
I am a duplicitous scoundrel, a monger and mongrel
a disharmonic chorus of voices play their part
stirring me up inside all these people from my past
picking at me, like buzzards who can sense the meal is the death inside
I hear every regret, barbed wire grows from a seed and pours through my mouth at last
the world would not change if I were dead, but in my head
I cannot fight the thought, of all the people whose lives would be better
if they found closure in a suicide letter, knowing it meant that I had died

I hear the support now, kicking me and telling me otherwise
the net catching me and telling me reason over lies
and I love them, I hear them, while from the corner of my eyes
my own voice is taunting me, a dead child haunting me
my capacity for evil is my secret to keep,
he warns me when I'm cracking, an animal meant to be in a cage
it's only so long before they start attacking, so take a pill, go to sleep
before your discomfort and disquiet and your madness turns to rage
take a pill, go to sleep
the memory of your younger brother is with you still,
hold me tight and release your pain into the ether
your sister cannot hurt you either,
you are forgotten, but you don't have to forget, maybe you never will
you'll see your older brother, and vicarious pride shall have its fill
do not give up, just go to sleep; take a pill.