Dear mistreated past,
I am so sorry
I treated you this way
I was confused
and had not meant to cause your heart abuse
I have always loved you
and I was distant
I know
I cannot fathom your hurt
and I played mind games
this I understand
and all the while you never did demand
and I'd unintentionally insult
and ignore you
But I was insecure
and these feelings for you
made me afraid
It's dangerous to have these emotions
at such a young age
I would leave and come back
constantly
But can't you see
how you haunt me
and I know I cruelly used you the last time I was here
and am dating someone new
but still I never got over you
And how I would push and make you cry
I am so so sorry for wasting 4 years of your life
and making you watch "The Comebacks" with me that one time
I apologize for all the pressure I always pushed onto you
and for never taking the time to see things through
Please forgive me for giving you
pain
and
grief
For leaving without goodbyes
For all those sweet spoken lies
For the confusion you went through
I will never get over you
or forgive myself for things I have done
and things I didn't do
And you will find someone who is worthy of you
and I will be a miserable sack of ****
here thinking of you
You will make me regret all my life
and I will always mourn killing what never really
had a chance to survive and thrive
You will find true love
while I waste others time
You will be happy
and your sorrow, and hate, and love for me
will die*

Are all the things I wish you said to me.