I remember that time,
You know,
That time when we were side by side
We'd done it many times together
Clothes on
But this was different
We were vulnerable
We were quiet
And we were flesh

And now, I'm sitting here
In a jumble of emotion
Replaying everything
I am an absolute ****-***

I've eaten
I've slept
I don't know what the hell's wrong here

I miss you
And yet I'm so angry
I'm failing
And I need a crutch terribly
I'm looking for anyone to lean on

And right now, I'm faking being ok.
And I'll keep doing it
Because, in reality, I could be a total ****
And this is me unraveling
Everything that's causing me the least bit of stress
Watch me burst at the seams
Scarecrow with mental issues

I am beyond ****** up, and you're still around?
Why is this happening, and why are you here?
More than that, why am I writing this
Sad sack of ******* that is called a poem?

Poetry is beautiful
Poetry is poignant
I'm being annoying
I'm being childish
I'm being immature
I'm being ridiculous

And God, God why are you so near?
But you feel so distant...
And I feel like I have all of hell's respite on
my back
And there's nothing
******* nothing that's doing a **** thing for me right now

Not liqour
Not love
Not happiness
Not Joy

I spout off at the mouth
And people think I'm more ****** up than I feel
That situations are worse than they really are
I need to work at this communication thing,
Or maybe I'm as ****** up as people think
Or worse...
Maybe I'm completely normal