He wakes up most mornings
before the sun,
never needing an alarm.
This morning he wakes
at four,
and he knows there will be
no more sleep.
He starts his day
as he always does,
shave, shower,
a quick breakfast,
eaten while standing
at the counter.
He tries to keep busy
during his day,
tidying his house,
reading, writing,
cooking lunch and dinner.
Some days he talks
to his dog, or sings,
to keep himself company.
Most days, he runs
out of things to do
after dinner is eaten
and picked up.
He will sit
in the evening,
watching television,
but the shows
are not much fun
with nobody to discuss them.
Inevitably,
he gives up,
goes to bed early,
only to wake up early.
The last thing he does,
every night, before bed,
is to mark the day off
on his calendar.
He has a simple system,
a large, black X
if he has not spoken
to anyone that day,
(his dog, a poor conversationalist, does not count).
On days he has a conversation,
he uses a large red circle.
Today was a black X,
and he marked it carefully,
this whole month
was nothing but
black X’s.
He had no friends or family,
so he wasn’t surprised.
Well, that was not
exactly true,
he had a few cousins,
he spoke to them once a year,
mostly,
usually around the holidays.
He had a few friends,
as well,
or at least people
he thought of as friends.
He was always glad to see them,
and to pass some time
talking to them,
but they never called him.
The seemed glad to see him,
if he ran into them,
on some errand.
They would smile,
wave,
sometimes even walk over,
and say hello.
They never ducked around a corner,
or froze him out
with stony, cold silence,
so they must be friends.
Just not the kind of friends
that thought to include him
in their plans,
or call him up
just to say hi.
Just the same,
he kept himself busy,
filled his days,
and marked them off
on the calendar,
filled with black X’s.
Always hoping for the day
that through no action
of his own,
he could mark that day
with a red circle.