Can't I be clean?
Is it okay to try and scrub away
the failure from my tongue and
the disappointment from my heart?

Would it be possible to look
in the mirror and be okay with it?
I want to be happy with the reflection
but all I want is to cover it in fog
with the hopes that there will be
someone different when I wipe it clean.

I want to be someone you deserve.
I don't want the hate, the jealousy, the fear
that this is all I'll ever be.
I want to say sorry for being
*****. Tainted. Hideous. Sad.