The pounding in my chest-
The racing in my head...
The voice inside begging for release,
and tears burning behind my eyes.

Hands clenched-
Fingernails digging into these sweaty palms.
I want to hit my knees...
I want to scream...
I want to *****...
I don't-

The stream of salt water runs down
Bloodshot eyes-
As sleep does not come easily..
I am walking in a dream anyway.
I have tried pinching myself to wake up!
But the pain just got me high-
And off I went again

This woman appears in the distance...
The smoke escapes from between her pursed lips
Inside me is a longing to ask
Why she indulges in such subtle suicide..
I suppress the desire.
For I realize
I am doing the same by loving you.