Here's another story that's also true
Although I hate to admit it
You see, my wife didn't think it was funny
And she just won't let me forget it

I was sitting at the table with my wife and kids
Enjoying our evening meal
I'm tellin you now, I'm lucky to be alive
And wouldn't be if looks could ****

I was almost finished with my desert
When I said, "Hey look, your mom's a Flambe'"
(Caution), never light a match near a woman's head
She didn't tell me she was wearing hair spray

Well, I got a little too close, then up she went
****!!!, flames all over the place
I started beating her on the head as fast as I could
You should have seen that woman's face

The smoke detector singing as loud as it could
Trying to cover my wife's horrible scream
I could have been married to a bald headed woman
At least that's how she makes it seem

I finally got it out, the kids were laughing
But my wife just didn't see the humor
She stared at me til my brain went weak
I seriously thought I had a tumor

I hope everybody was paying attention
To this lesson that I had to learn
Never light a match near a woman's head
And never shout burn baby burn