Oh flounder mind you move the sea
Oh come and look at me
I pray night and day
for love to come my way,
I look deep with my mind
for the inward part of me
why I had to shout all doors
and now I look for more,
Mine has been working overtime
that keeps me up late at night
that is the way the old sea cry's
leaving my mind stain as glassed
looking beyond the past,
Oh why does my mind keep my heart to flounder?
It is taken me to a place I had once crave
I started feeling so much intense needs
with vivid of hunger of sweet delight
on the other side of my wildest dreams
I would see so much evergreen,
Oh what a beautiful things I did see
into the night the stars did shine so ever bright
re flicking their shades of beauty on the sea
twinkling away at me
all darkness made its round like lost and found
without a sound for solid grounds,
the confusion came over me
like I was lost into a dream
fear and lost made a bust so deadly over me
all my emotions for true devotions
submerged beneath my wildest dreams
the earth was no longer under my feet
oh how I do feel so weak
like a child so scared holding on to fear
that seems to always stand so near,
All the beauty I once had taken in
had shadowed me in so many sins
I was lost and not yet found on true solid grounds
I started feeling empty like the waves of the sea
bringing on sadness in dreams
guilt and hate with so much blame
from the past of another time,
I started thinking about how
often I would be laid in my bed
thinking back to an old beaten down past
my mind moved along like the wind
sing out the sad old sound of back then
now every time I think about sleeping
my mind starts weeping
because I don't want to fall asleep into darken dreams.
This old fear is so dreadful to me
it always comes back to me in nightmares
that eat away at my mind
cutting deep within me
every time I tried to get this off of my mind
I could hear the old wind crying over again
the old strings of time
that was never mine,
All my emotions got lost behind all closed doors
I tried so hard to get what it was I missed
I get up feeling so scared
hold my body like it had been wounded
voices from these closed doors
crying out saying open the door, please
let your pain run out like rain
I started feeling like all my bones were broken,
All walls started building up
my mind didn't want to give up
the truth and love was at my inter doors
but my mind felt all the pain of lost time
My world started crashing down
while everyone else just studs around
just to watch me bleed and weep
like the old wind of time
stripping away my spirit of faith
Oh floundering soul where did you go?

- Judy Emery © 1994
The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery