so done.
trying not to let it get to me.
but how can it not?

"wait", i whisper to myself
you have your arms.
you have your legs.
you have a bit of family left and some friends to match.
you're not dying.
you're sheltered.
you're fed.

....why is it so hard to recognize the good?
because the bad is much more overwhelming.

it's helping, but not enough.
i still want to scream.
i still want to cry.

i have manifested every single that that has happened to me.
i've prayed for it, and it's been completely answered...now for me to only slap God a good one in the face by objecting.
what is the matter with me?
God, where do i begin?

i'm lost.
i'm terrified.
i'm alone.

wandering amongst the dead particles of life we call earth.
where do i go?
what do i do?

continue to breathe, i suppose.