i don't even know what i want anymore
my hopes, my dreams, my life,
it's splashes of color and splashes of blood
moments of i can do this forever and moments of break down because i just can't any more
moments of i believe in magic and moments of the world is too dark of a place
a handful of tearstained faces and just as much laughing too hard
a few good friends and a few killed friendships and questioning and being sure
moments where it's too hard, where i can't put one front in front of the other for even one more step
and moments of running full speed ahead into whatever is out there
but always wondering what the point is, what i'm going through all of this for because all of the bits and pieces that make up my life don't add up any more. a million doesn't equal zero, no matter how you do the math.
and i don't know what my objective is because i'm afraid to know what i want because how will i get it?
because isn't that everyone's objective? to get what they want?
so i spin around on this giant ball of rock because even this earth knows its place (to go around the sun) and i let days go by in the cycle of moments and splashes and pieces and i watch and notice and count and wonder when i'll know what i want