Congrats! Your thin! Go home and grin, Freely roam Atone Forget former days And steak fillets Still a fake Just now tame when you're next to a cake Though still completely the same Which is really quite the shame So you went for fame To make a name Grovelled to beg Upon a bold mans leg Only to be told You were far too old You go back home, Alone. Eat heavy scones, The belt line becomes blown Up About the time you buy a pup Who'll be drinking next to you from a cup As the two watch TV, Never to flee. Finish alone Pup soon outgrown. Never leave the home, Or hear a ringing phone. But at least you're now a size three Eating no more than a cup of tea People really respond to that whole notion of not being fat