because
when you asked me
why i wasn't depressed, too,
i couldn't come up with an answer.

clenched teeth like yikes
like as if you already know my type
like as if you can already see right through me,
a glass door, transparent like
how i've always dreamed.

thunder in my stomach reminds me
of the thunder in my thighs
i close my eyes,
pretend i'm having an MRI
(mind over matter)
and maybe it'll calm me.

and would you be proud of how i cope?
like yo, this **** is ******* dope
just take a little ****
let it fill you up with the hope
you'll find in the smoke

that exhaled out my lungs,
disappearing like
a poem i have to hide
from you.

but you don't think this is poetry
no, no-
this is just me talking
(to myself)