i think we both wanted to believe that it would get better
i think we both lied to ourselves,
that I would ever really want to have children
that the ****** space between my legs
would ever look like anything but disappointment to you
lie 1 after my career got started for real,
i could think about adopting
lie 2 after your commitment was over,
you would move somewhere for both of us

so much education and learning
4 college degrees between us
you build things to go into space and guide missions to galaxies
what was wrong that we could not learn how
to build one ******* simple bridge
i feel like so many times I googled it and you seemed surprised
Like open source relationship advice
Had never occurred to you

White papers stained with black numbers for *** therapists liter the bed
White pads stained with my blood for increasing numbers of days in the litter bin
Maybe if we stop looking at it, it will go away
Maybe if we stop talking about it, it will clear up

If ignored like a pimple, it will clear
Instead of doing the right thing, we sit through
two years of arguing in a counselor’s office
I’m not sad that we "tried to work things out"
i’m sad that i tried really hard
and you left me
with my scars still stinging.