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May 2020
Cast off, shunned, alone. This is what they condone. Shaded, jaded, and unsatiated, that’s my legacy. I thought I was strong enough on my own, that I’d grown, but I’m just a small child inside, lonely and empty, a hollow of a shell, with no one to compel me, help me, love me and move me. I’m so ******* lonely, eating a bullet will fill this void. Will it? I’m so hungry. For love, for compassion, for someone to share my passion. I have so much love to give, so much to share, there is nothing to compare. I’m so hungry… still hollow and empty inside. Every day I die again. Still nothing to swallow. I feel like I’m suffocating from the inside out. A shell of a person, a ghost, a hologram. Nothing left of me. I waste away Each day is another death I’ve died. No anger left in me, just apathy. I’ve cried myself out, barely drag on. Yet they still hang me out to dry… and so I die again and again. Will it ever end? I’ve held a gun twice to my head, wishing and praying I were dead, asking is there anything left for me ahead? No. It’s another bleak, dark day, wasted away… turned to dark, with no spark. My flames have gone out, suffocating embers is all that’s left. No light ahead, and so I feel dead. Another day, is another dollar I have not earned. I yearn, Oh how I still yearn. But my prayers go unanswered, unheard, my shouts get lost in the noise, of everyone screaming to be heard. My prayers float away, another day… a dollar I’ve not earned. It’s all gone to Amazon, to Disney, as they flip my story. Tarnish my name, and so my flame finally dies. I’m still forever left out. My name, my story used, but they don’t tell of my abuse. They don’t tell of my shame, I get no fame, while they lay claim to my life, my rights. I’ve no fight left, no spite. So I die over and over again inside. Please just give me the bullet. It would be so much easier. Less pain, please take it away. I feel I’ve died a thousand deaths from here to tomorrow, there lays my sorrow. It goes… on and on and on…
Written by
ARuckus
110
 
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