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May 2020
"You dress weird"
I heard the one say,
And then I heard another go,
"No one's going to speak to you looking like that"
They kept going on, one after the other..
"If you feel comfortable, rock it"
"Don't take note of them, do you"
"I mean, that's so last year"
"You should dress according to your body type"
All the while, I'm looking in the mirror, doubtful...
"No matter what you wear, you'll never look good enough"
"Have you thought about dieting?"
"You're amazing just the way you are"
"Those who are able to accept are the only ones worth having in your life"
"What do you even have to offer people?"
"If I were desperate enough, they maybe"
STOP! I shouted.
This is when I realised I've been sitting alone,
No one else is around,
And this right here, is my daily routine.
A group discussion of all the voices who live in my head,
Each one a different situation from my past that I've allowed to move in to my head..
It's hard some days, I even lose the battle on other days.
But I am who I am, and today,
I'm simply in love with who I am.
Anxiety based discussion that takes place in my mind on a daily basis... Constantly having to not break down and not succumbing to the voices who try and put me down... This has lead to me missing so many days of my life and so many opportunities because all that happens is on any given day, I could just freeze up and not be able to face anything outside of my room walls.
Ameer Pather
Written by
Ameer Pather  27/M/Port Elizabeth
(27/M/Port Elizabeth)   
117
 
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