pitch me straight into the darkness;
when you’re in the darkness, nothing exists;
not a pain so deep that it will literally take your breath away and you collapse on all fours because you vomit and can no longer stand;
not a pain so harsh that it feels like tiny little needles are stabbing and pulling every inch of your soul out of your body, inch by every fucking inch;
then, the heat:
there is not a place on or in your entire being that is not reverberating with heat;
you know that kind of heat, remember?
it’s when something terribly horrific happens and these non-flames (for surely i’m burning up on the inside to be this hot) slowly begins from your feet, to your neck — where you begin to sweat — and then the realization and truth hits you right in the face;
being in the darkness means my pain no longer exists.
so when the time comes, do not save me. there is no saving when the mind and body gives itself to the darkness willingly.