I’ve experienced my deepest pain
And greatest breakthroughs
On a yellow couch.
The window in the room has a perfect view of an oak tree
That I’ve watched slowly change from green to orange leaves.
My eyes have traveled across the same painting of the ocean
For hours as words and tears spill out of me
Like a tangled up *** of yarn.
I’ve been holding on to it for so long
Not knowing how to handle the continuous string,
but I’m lucky to have someone to grab my jumbled thoughts
And untangle them with me.
For the longest time I was proud of the mess I managed inside
And thought I was capable of untangling it myself.
What I’ve learned is that I am capable.
Not because I have it all figured out,
But because I have the strength to admit that I don’t.
The longer I live the more I see that I can’t carry
Everything that has happened to me by myself.
And that’s okay.
Everytime I sit down, I remember the first time I sat here
And the slow but steady progress that followed
Each time I’ve met this room.
The inside of my mind would look so different
If I hadn’t pushed myself
To sit on that yellow couch.

m.h.