It flows Like blood Like fire Like tears down my face It hurts Like love Like hate Like an end of the days I want I need I don't even care I cry I weep But nobody's there The balcony is calling Softly Sweetly It hurts to ignore The ground below it What am I waiting for? The knife is whispering Inside my head It hurts to ignore The peace behind the blade What am I waiting for? The fire is calling In my hand It hurts to ignore It's lung killing brand What am I waiting for? **** me Hurt me I'm so immune Stab me Laugh Drive the knife home Unfair with me But not with them Because you love them You love them You do I'll **** them And then **** you Because I hate you I hate you I do I'm insane I've crossed the line I feel the heady On the Joy of time After you've taken to much After so little I'm insane I am I look to the mirror It speaks to me I yell as my answer As I am guilty The mirror laughs Like it always does Then morphs into me And by then Through the tears I can barely see I hurt, I hurt But I'll never let it show Right down to the day I **** myself. No Point in denying my end is my own And I'll see to my life, on the way home My head is collapsing But my eyes are wide open My shoulders crumble My torso dissolves But my legs keep walking Until they fall And fall they do However, they fall up And my head is abandoned While my legs float up I've no way to regain The rest of myself And what's left of me Is still useless Collecting dust on the shelf And there's no one to love And no one who'll love There's no one to smile with No one to talk to And yet, all in all I still stop in awe As I look at those people That I called friends Who know so much But so little in the end And my family Which isn't family at all And my father whom I hate And mother I abhor And sisters I despise What am I waiting for? I could end it all End it all tonight **** them all And leave at first light And that's when I remember I'm not truly insane I put the knife away And scold my brain A stick of cancer at my lips To chase the thoughts away And as I inhale I feel saner in every way A fake smile that carries me through the day I show it to my friends And brush away My problems, my issues Because I don't matter They should be happy As my heart shatters Four years, four years Since my insanity began I found love I lost it again I gave up my body For hasty "I love you's" Gave up my soul Though I didn't mean to Gave up my heart I gave it to him He thanked me Took it And left with it A lifeless Loveless Disgusting corpse, I am A foolish Hopeful Shell of what I used to be I'm still waiting Still hoping But It'll never come Just a bit too ugly A bit too mean A bit too caring A bit too confident A bit too smart A bit too dumb A bit too Me To ever find love A bit too paranoid A bit too hurt A bit too aggressive A bit too hateful To ever want it A bit too human A bit too desperate A bit too needy A bit too clingy A bit too expecting To not need it And the Balcony calls me And the Noose calls me And the Knife calls me And the Flame calls me And Death is just behind their voices And I run Run Run And they follow **** me **** me now I'd like to fly To be free Above the clouds Or at the very least die For the absence of sound I'd exalt in that second Where I would be free Before the fire's of hell Would rear up to claim me I'd laugh I'd scream I know I'd shout As I let the years Of suppressed insanity out And I roar it down Onto the Earth Until everyone feels my pain But before I let the thought fester I shake the insanity away It's funny how I think I'm insane anyway I'm just a normal child With a bit more pain Wearing my heart on my sleeve In the pouring rain And so I beg one last time **** me **** me dead.