OH, RAY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEED
DID YOU DONATE YOUR HAIR TO SOMEONE IN NEED
DID IT FALL OUT THROUGH STRESS AND STRAIN
OR WAS IT THE BARBER  TELL US WHITS HIS NAME

YOU’RE HEED IT SHINES LIKE SOMETHING NEW
DO YOU POLISH IT IN THE MORNING
OR IS EVERY DAY OR TWO
DID YOUR WIFE RUN HER FINGERS
THROUGH YOUR HAIR
OR DID IT ALL FALL OUT DUE TO DISPARE

HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF HAVING SOME WIGS
IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO
LIAM CAN MAKE WIGS OUT OF OLD TWIGS
DON’T HIDE YOUR HEED AWAY WITH SHAME
IT’S NOT YOU FAULT YOU’RE NOT TO BLAME

EXPOSE THIS HEED FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL
ITS NOT TO BIG IT’S MAYBE A WEE BIT SMALL
COME ON SHOW US YOUR HEED
IT’S A GOOD LAUGH THAT WE ALL NEED

RABBIE WROTE ABOUT PLACES AND LASSIES
I WILL WRITE ABOUT THE HEED THAT SURPASSES
PEOPLE COME FORM ALL OVER TO FIND
THAT HEED THAT LOOKS LIKE BIG ARES
THAT WAS LEFT BEHIND
WE NEED  THE HEED
POEM BY ANDREW BENNIE