This is exhausting
Its only May and I have
Had enough
I forget how it feels
To not be tense
There is always this
Heaviness pressing down
On my chest

I resent them
And does that make me
A terrible person
For wanting them gone?
For wanting to breathe
Freely again?
It feels like I am

Another night spent
Hyperventilating in the bathroom
Shower on so no one
Hears me cry
I just want scream,
Run away
But where will I go?
What would it change?

I'm so tired
Of feeling trapped
In my own home
I've never gotten used
To these invaders
Blood though they may be

I had a job for the first time
It's gone now
This situation is so precarious
And feels like I
Won't survive having
It crash down