I think I am in love with purposeful uncertainty,
because in the dark, or with my eyes closed
I can always pretend you'd pick me.

It's a beautiful delusion one you've proven false
over and over again.

But if I never ask you
I will never have to here you say
out loud

that I am second best
at my very best,

and so I keep my eyes closed
and hold my breath
and swallow my questions
and my pride.

and I let you pick teams in the dark

so I never actually see you choosing everyone but me
and so you never have to see
ME