Feeling indifferent A 40 oz and promethazine still haven't put me to sleep I wish I could clear my mind so I put smoke in my lungs real deep I try to pray but can't get on my knees I'm not Muslim or Protestant No Jesus or Allah in my life Just pain that cuts like a knife Alcohol is the solution but the main problem The answers, I will never solve em My mom died because of that I drove drunk and can't go back What to do now, My heart turned black RIPped in two by a Hennessy bottle Now my mom's gone all that's left is hurt I should of gone, why did she get to go first My life has been cursed since birth Always think of leaving this Earth I haven't been to heaven but I'm living in Hell Somedays I contemplate suicide and saying farewell But **** keeps moving Life hasn't stopped Even if I'm in a dark hole because I fell I'm not an angel, demons are all around I feel their presence more then Moms When I call her name I don't hear a sound But that's expected, there's no such thing as being resurrected I cry inside but my eyes don't water, even after all my sorrow The worst feeling is guilt and that always is to follow Simple words to complex emotions If my tear glands worked I could fill the oceans But instead I look at you with a cold stare No happiness here but who would really care? Drunk driving so yea it was my fault I should be dead instead of writing this ****** poem drinking a malt Another cigarette, yea it helps On top of that I might have a kid My baby's mother is a ugly, horrible thought Can't remember how or when we ****** Maybe it was the Hennessy, that must be it I had 10k and an Audi I bought Dropped the top and my mom flew out And now all I do is ***** and pout Try to cry but it never comes out Then some family talks bad & threatens to **** me Wish it wasn't just words because it'd make my day Wonder if this feeling will ever go away I wish I had someone to talk to but they all disappeared **** the police for the lies that the jury believed I really do wish, I was never conceived My childhood friends are all doing 15+ for crimes that were and were not committed Unlike my stupid father who deserves his sentence Trying to **** my grandmother the day after my mom passed All my life I hated him for not wearing a rubber or not being around to give gifts on Christmas But now I hate him for not shoving that **** up his *** If there was god, my life was made because it ******* Maybe you wonder about what indifferent means All it means is I lost hope..but mainly lost any hope of giving a **** That was the quick version but to sum it up I'm cursed with forever with bad luck