i've never been more confused,
tears,
feeling like i've been used
tired of smiling and being someone i'm not,
stop,
been hiding the cuts with the jerseys and long sleeved tops
and,
i feel a little more destroyed every day
because it consumes me and apparently that won't take my pain away,
stay,
i know you're there
but it's easier to die even though i know you care
you're going to have to learn to let me go
there was nothing in my mental world that you didn't know
so,
i'm here right now and i'm begging you bro,
i do care about you, to the moon and back
so how was i to tell you that everywhere i go, i'm having panic attacks
and there's no planning for that
depression and anxiety are two soldiers stronger than me
and i'm trying to tell you that honestly
i have no fight left in me
would you rather have me go starting a riot
and leave this world, peace and quiet
i'm a prisoner of my own mind
trapped in there by my own kind
i know you're trying to keep me alive
but deep down, i don't think i'll survive
so why would i let you in my mind, so you can die too but this time by my own hand?
be a foreigner in my land?
our time is up and i know that you're furious
curious,
wondering how could i ever do this to us
frustrated on what ever happened to trust
but this is a lifelong neglection
to my clinical depression