We’ll all cook Masterchef pies
Carry injuries from botched DIYs
Gardens manicured and well-tended
Dogs knackered, bemused but contented
Very contented

We’ve You Tube-recalled every match
Every try, every goal, every catch
I-Playered and Netflixed every drama
Gone on-line for religion - good karma
Sort-of

Spotified the Pistols, The Clash and The Jam
Talked of We-Are as opposed to I-Am
Watched “celebrities” sing from their homes
Inspired, began writing poems
Like this

We’ve tuned in for the updates at five
Prayed for nurses to keep us alive
Popped out to the shop – but then no!
Jump in the car? But nowhere to go
Nowhere

“If you think they fit this description
Call the police, but please keep your distance”
Cop appeals, they’ll need some re-briefing
“Social distance” is what we’ll be keeping
Like forever

We’ll tingle backing out of the drive
Smile in the queue on the M25
And next year – we hope – we’ll reminisce
Of the day when we come out of this