Apr 2020
"I never stood a chance, did I?"
"That's the sad part - you did once."
I stopped dead in my tracks at that moment. How was it possible that one small sentence could send me through a myriad of emotions, and so quickly at that? Every brittle bone in my body felt like it was threatened to crack by the chill that rolled down my spine and spread to my toes. The voice echoed in my skull, creating a rattling against the cage that was my mind. I could never be free from it.
Immediately, I was taken back to that time where it was you and I. I stood on the corner and you had asked me to stay. I was hesitant, but nothing will ever replace or let me forget that warmth that I felt. It was as if a fire was lit in this hollow chest, keeping me warm and igniting me with a pride that later on betrayal would burn out.
Where did it all go so wrong?
It was that question that I was still unable to answer. You and I - again, we both knew it was undeniable. I had once been powerful. This has once been beautiful. As it seemed, with all good things, they must come to an end.
And here we were.
My arms folded across my chest and I found my fingers curling into my fists. They squeezed, tightening until my bones were knuckle white and taut against my skin, glowing so pale like the moon that lingered over us. My eyes found it after seeking it out, and I struggled not to find myself counting every star in the sky as the letters of the words for all of the things I wanted to say to you. I couldn't seem to find the way to curl my tongue around them and spit them out into your hands anymore, but trust me when I say I once would've given you all of those stars.
I could only manage a few - "Well, the past is the past."
I could hear the disdain crawling from your throat and escaping in the form of a sigh. In this moment to you, the words mattered. Like a board game I found myself with not many letter choices to arrange together, and certainly none that would ever place you & I in the same reality again, regardless of how much I longed for it.
"That's the sad part - you did once."
I stopped dead in my tracks at that moment. How was it possible that one small sentence could send me through a myriad of emotions, and so quickly at that? Every brittle bone in my body felt like it was threatened to crack by the chill that rolled down my spine and spread to my toes. The voice echoed in my skull, creating a rattling against the cage that was my mind. I could never be free from it.
Immediately, I was taken back to that time where it was you and I. I stood on the corner and you had asked me to stay. I was hesitant, but nothing will ever replace or let me forget that warmth that I felt. It was as if a fire was lit in this hollow chest, keeping me warm and igniting me with a pride that later on betrayal would burn out.
Where did it all go so wrong?
It was that question that I was still unable to answer. You and I - again, we both knew it was undeniable. I had once been powerful. This has once been beautiful. As it seemed, with all good things, they must come to an end.
And here we were.
My arms folded across my chest and I found my fingers curling into my fists. They squeezed, tightening until my bones were knuckle white and taut against my skin, glowing so pale like the moon that lingered over us. My eyes found it after seeking it out, and I struggled not to find myself counting every star in the sky as the letters of the words for all of the things I wanted to say to you. I couldn't seem to find the way to curl my tongue around them and spit them out into your hands anymore, but trust me when I say I once would've given you all of those stars.
I could only manage a few - "Well, the past is the past."
I could hear the disdain crawling from your throat and escaping in the form of a sigh. In this moment to you, the words mattered. Like a board game I found myself with not many letter choices to arrange together, and certainly none that would ever place you & I in the same reality again, regardless of how much I longed for it.
