Almost twenty years later
starting to gain ground
Understanding comes bitter and sweet
always believeing  I was ahead
foolish
always believing I was so strong
denial
always avoiding the issue
truth

Truth is
fear has led to defeat
Harsh times
led to retreat
For no other reason than fear
Bigger problem is letting go

Inexperience still wallows in the cavity my being takes hold
Smothering in fear of losing
Holding so tight
everything is brusing
Bones so tense
its confusing
Anxious over absolutely nothing
So *******  needy it is crazy

Got too much time
been around people too long
forgot that it is okay to be alone