Alone in a room with nothing but the company of my inner thoughts driving me to the brink of insanity, I lie on my bed, phone in hand, searching for the words to tell you how I feel.

Unsure of my own emotions and still scarred from past relationships, I am scared to admit that somewhere within the quiet, dark realm of my soul, that I crave something as fickle as love.

I’ve tried to suppress my feelings for you, countless times in fear that if I confess them aloud that it would somehow make what I feel for you all too real. Although there aren’t many things that I fear in this world, the mere thought of falling in love frightens me most.

I look up at the ceiling, tears streaming down my face. Why is it so hard to admit that I like you out loud? Within my heart, I know that I want this. Am I ready to fall victim to the uncertainties that the cruel mistress called “love” has to offer?

I pick up the phone and begin typing.
The three dots of death begin to dance before my screen.
Throwing my phone far away from me as possible, I pace around my room as overwhelming thoughts begin to crowd my head.

I fall onto my bed, close my eyes and then I see your smile, one of the few things that I treasure in this world, and I am comforted.

PING.

Out of nowhere, my phone drowns out the deafening silence in within my room. I read the message and every ounce of anxiety and fear faded away as I read your response.

Written By: Helene J.C. Armbrister