my heart is thumping against my ribcage
i feel the pulsing in my veins and the flickering between my eyes has me buzzing like a bee

my hands are cold
if they touch you
you’ll just freeze
and don’t even think about getting near my soul
you’ll just get frostbite

even though i’m warm flesh and blood
i don’t agree with the whole idea of love
and how we need it to survive
love has always been a kick to the gut
and i’m coughing up metallic

i’m begging you not to go
but shoving you out the door as i do so
you don’t know whether you should stay or leave
so you decide to take the easier route in the decision making
and you just leave

because you don’t want to deal with the anger i have towards myself and the resentment
so you leave
and i’m left with a hole in my heart

it’s faintly beating
but it’s still there

so i’ll let my therapist take a seat and get her notepad and i’ll lie about how i’m fine and you’ll lie about how you didn’t see the warning signs.