This is the strangest and most beautiful ache.
Every atom of my being
Is exhausted
From thinking of you.
Not just in my head,
But a kind of whole-body thought,
Like I’ve been possessed by some
Insidious spirit.
I’m not calling you wicked,
But I might need an exorcism
Pretty soon.
After the other night,
When we finally opened up,
Heart first,
And then you left me,
Heart calling,
I’ve been diving into dark oceans
Without an oxygen tank;
I’ve been weaving nooses
Out of heartstrings
And wrapping them around myself
Like a knotted blanket.
Like a rough cocoon.
Release me as a butterfly.
Let me go alive.
Leave some meat on my bones.
I think I must’ve stitched
My heart to yours,
And the thread’s come undone,
But the scars have almost healed.
It’s going to bleed rivers
When I have to cut them apart again.
Little Siamese hearts,
You can’t stay that way forever.