i.
every meal is an unavoidable family feast
   meat, bread, cheese, dessert
   regret is building inside of me-
   inside my stomach, my thighs, my cheeks.

ii.
clouds, freezing wind, pouring rain
   a sad excuse for summer
   it leaves me just as down
   as i was a year ago today.

iii.
pressured to look busy, to be busy
   to go places without transportation
   to see people who are states away
   to go outside in the lifeless sun.

iv.
privacy is sunday mornings and showers
   watch what you say, what you show
   be prepared to defend a tear or fist
   don't you break down.  not here.
   breakdowns aren't accepted at home.