to everyone I’ve ever loved

i.
you were the first
you taught me so much
i spent six years loving you
and you never loved me back
you taught me how to quit
how to give up
how to fail
my only wish is that i learned sooner

ii.
i never knew that a simple “thank you”
could hurt the same as cold steel
carving up my body

i offered you my heart
and you told me
i could keep it

iii.
i’m sorry


iv.
you’ve ruined me
to this day i still dream of you
i cry out from fitful sleep
and wake with your name upon my lips

every word I write
is a futile attempt
to relive the blissful moments
i spent in your presence

the distance between us
is an ocean of sorrow
and i
cannot
swim