May 2013
in the middle of the night it crept into my thoughts
it grabbed my now depressed mind and tried to hold me close
it listened to the fear and dreaded hate i had for this world and the people in it
they took me hostage you see and i had no escape
none of us can run from it
some just hide from it better
it took my face and told me what the world has said
disgusting and worthless
it stabbed my body with its piercing nails and told me
how much of a fat slob i am
it looked into my eyes and read my mind
but their was nothing to read
i was lost and alone but still the world around didnt seem hurt at all
they laughed at my pain to make themselves feel better
at the expence of a person
they did not care
they wanted to see me crash and burn so i could not fight
i awoke from my slumber
to walk to a mirror that had deep scars of my hatred for myself embedded in them
and the scars, the scars matched the ones on my side
the ones i hid from everyone so they would keep the words to them selves
and i ran and i hid under the roof of the place i had to call home
i ran there for safety
but what safety did it being me
when they yelled and yelled at me for mistakes that where never ment to happen
i felt it was my fault
when in some sort of crazy realty i was innocent
i was the victim of being hated and let down and lied to
i hurt so bad for people who would never feel the pain
i hid in myself
i tried to see what the world couldnt
but how could i see what was not there
i could not dream because they distroied them
i could not hope because they stole it from me
and i was not a well enough thief to steal it back
they broke my heart
this would that i had loved
it didnt love me back
it would never dare do such a thing
so i sit and i cry and call myself a baby
because i let this world **** me
i let it take control of my body and mind
because i felt i wasnt worth it
even with the people who told me to see otherwise
there was an army of hate that rushed their caring words right out of my mind
and i tried, i tried to change
my looks
my thoughts
who i was
i hated myself
and they hated me to
so i took the knife to my wrist and i carved the words help me help me
hoping someone could hear me
but no one even bothered to listen
so i wrote my story on paper covered in my blood
the last thing i wrote was
sorry
carved into my neck
it grabbed my now depressed mind and tried to hold me close
it listened to the fear and dreaded hate i had for this world and the people in it
they took me hostage you see and i had no escape
none of us can run from it
some just hide from it better
it took my face and told me what the world has said
disgusting and worthless
it stabbed my body with its piercing nails and told me
how much of a fat slob i am
it looked into my eyes and read my mind
but their was nothing to read
i was lost and alone but still the world around didnt seem hurt at all
they laughed at my pain to make themselves feel better
at the expence of a person
they did not care
they wanted to see me crash and burn so i could not fight
i awoke from my slumber
to walk to a mirror that had deep scars of my hatred for myself embedded in them
and the scars, the scars matched the ones on my side
the ones i hid from everyone so they would keep the words to them selves
and i ran and i hid under the roof of the place i had to call home
i ran there for safety
but what safety did it being me
when they yelled and yelled at me for mistakes that where never ment to happen
i felt it was my fault
when in some sort of crazy realty i was innocent
i was the victim of being hated and let down and lied to
i hurt so bad for people who would never feel the pain
i hid in myself
i tried to see what the world couldnt
but how could i see what was not there
i could not dream because they distroied them
i could not hope because they stole it from me
and i was not a well enough thief to steal it back
they broke my heart
this would that i had loved
it didnt love me back
it would never dare do such a thing
so i sit and i cry and call myself a baby
because i let this world **** me
i let it take control of my body and mind
because i felt i wasnt worth it
even with the people who told me to see otherwise
there was an army of hate that rushed their caring words right out of my mind
and i tried, i tried to change
my looks
my thoughts
who i was
i hated myself
and they hated me to
so i took the knife to my wrist and i carved the words help me help me
hoping someone could hear me
but no one even bothered to listen
so i wrote my story on paper covered in my blood
the last thing i wrote was
sorry
carved into my neck
