you make me so aware of how unfair i am to myself by loving you, it pains me to not be able to just rip you from my chest, to take you and pin you to my refrigerator just like all of the rest, a mere memory of what i felt for you instead of having you invade my body with thoughts and a touch that never breaks the surface because you’re more than two worlds away and it makes me feel pathetic.

god, you make feel like i can have the world at my finger tips because it wrapped so easily around yours. you drive me absolutely mad, but at the same time, you’re what keeps me sane. don’t ask me how that works, it just does, and only you can make me feel this way. i’m so lonely, and i lost almost half the time, the thought of you grounds me and nails my feet to the ground but tell me, how can i love you even when you’re not around?

you’re the boy of my ******* dreams, sweet and oozing with charm, ****, just take me now why don’t you? you don’t know how much i’d give to have an ounce of your love. you don’t look my way, most of the time it’s in my head if you do. i like the idea of being with you, but maybe it’s just the thought of not being so alone. i’m so sick of being ******* lonely, it’s devastating. it always seems to creep up when i’m in bed, it’s like me dipping my toe in the ocean before being utterly consumed by the tides

i hope you hear the angel’s song and i hope it helps you sleep at night because you being happy is what keeps me at ease.