Apr 2020
counting the squares on bathroom walls as i sat in the bathtub with my clothes still on. this seemed like a daily routine. get drunk, cry, get in the bathtub, cry some more.
i never thought i'd end up here. wishing i was dead because of a man that had fire for hands and a blade for a tongue. i thought i could fix him, but while i was putting his pieces back together, he was picking apart mine.
the steam from the water is filling the room and i let out a dry cough, throwing my head back as my eyeliner and mascara run down my cheeks and my hair is soaked, the dye bleeding on my skin.
do you like it when i hurt, mi amour? do you like it when i cry these pretty little tears for you? you always said i looked pretty when i cried. so right now, i must be drop dead gorgeous.
hugging my knees, shaking and trembling as my grandmother knocks on the door and screams i'm taking too long but i can't mutter a sound so i stay silent
the door opens and the mess you made is revealed. my lipstick is smeared on my face and i look like a wreck, grandmother screamed at me to get out of the bath and turn off the shower. i look like a mess. at least i can reflect what's on the inside, nana.
my hands are shaking as they reach and turn off the water, but i'm still sitting there. grandmother throws me a towel and says she'll get me some fresh new clothes.
i'm sobbing again. how pathetic. all i do is cry, but you're not any better because all you ever ******* do is lie. what have you lied about these past few weeks? did you tell another girl you loved her so you can get her body into bed? did you leave her bare and exposed in a hotel room and made her have to call her mama at 4am? oh wait— too specific?
grandmother helps me out of the bath and wipes off my makeup with a wet cloth, she's telling me whoever made me feel this way is tan jodidamente estúpido!
i agree, nana. he is. he's on a whole other planet and he needs to come back down to earth.
in fresh new clothes, i lay in my bed and my sister asks me what's wrong. i can't tell her that it's him again, i told her that for the past three weeks.
i run away when i don't know what to do, so i grabbed my bag and left to a motel room. sitting on a ***** mattress, i throw my head back and it takes me back to the times where my head would fall onto the pillow from the amount of euphoria and ecstasy you made me feel when your head was between my thighs
i gag. i cry. i cough. i laugh.
at least one of us still has a heart.
i never thought i'd end up here. wishing i was dead because of a man that had fire for hands and a blade for a tongue. i thought i could fix him, but while i was putting his pieces back together, he was picking apart mine.
the steam from the water is filling the room and i let out a dry cough, throwing my head back as my eyeliner and mascara run down my cheeks and my hair is soaked, the dye bleeding on my skin.
do you like it when i hurt, mi amour? do you like it when i cry these pretty little tears for you? you always said i looked pretty when i cried. so right now, i must be drop dead gorgeous.
hugging my knees, shaking and trembling as my grandmother knocks on the door and screams i'm taking too long but i can't mutter a sound so i stay silent
the door opens and the mess you made is revealed. my lipstick is smeared on my face and i look like a wreck, grandmother screamed at me to get out of the bath and turn off the shower. i look like a mess. at least i can reflect what's on the inside, nana.
my hands are shaking as they reach and turn off the water, but i'm still sitting there. grandmother throws me a towel and says she'll get me some fresh new clothes.
i'm sobbing again. how pathetic. all i do is cry, but you're not any better because all you ever ******* do is lie. what have you lied about these past few weeks? did you tell another girl you loved her so you can get her body into bed? did you leave her bare and exposed in a hotel room and made her have to call her mama at 4am? oh wait— too specific?
grandmother helps me out of the bath and wipes off my makeup with a wet cloth, she's telling me whoever made me feel this way is tan jodidamente estúpido!
i agree, nana. he is. he's on a whole other planet and he needs to come back down to earth.
in fresh new clothes, i lay in my bed and my sister asks me what's wrong. i can't tell her that it's him again, i told her that for the past three weeks.
i run away when i don't know what to do, so i grabbed my bag and left to a motel room. sitting on a ***** mattress, i throw my head back and it takes me back to the times where my head would fall onto the pillow from the amount of euphoria and ecstasy you made me feel when your head was between my thighs
i gag. i cry. i cough. i laugh.
at least one of us still has a heart.
