"on the night like this, there's so many things i wanna tell you.."

i keep repeat Mocca's song tonight. Arina's voice really calms me. i heed every lyric.

but then i realize,
you are not here anymore,
you are not there,
you are not even anywhere.

not even on my first thought at seven in the morning,
not even on my evening cup of coffee,
not even on my last call at midnight,
you are not even anywhere.

oh dear,
who am i to asked?