I had a nightmare
There were Al-Qaeda babies crawling in my room
With turbans on their heads
I know it sounds racist, it's awful, totally sick
but you gotta believe me
These Johnny Jihads were glowing in the dark
And I sensed bombs in their brains, saying gooooo geeeee gaaaa-gaaaa!
I've never been so terrified in my life
I had to leap over them, they were so ******* real
Any moment they'd explode
in a thin blood step of suicide
and Al-Qaeda day care
It wasn't just that
I knew the evil they'd become
Let me tell you how I got in this awful mess
I had this crazy idea
about confronting evil
Rwanda, genocide, all that ****
In all the books I could find
I thought I could make peace with the world
If I just cried my guts out
ship-wreck some snot mess, you know what I mean
Well, I guess the joke's on me
I needed a nightmare to tell me
There's no truth in evil
There's nothing to find
When it's all an illusion to begin with
Just like that nightmare
What a lesson that was.
I'll always remember those Al-Qaeda babies
They really saved my life
As twisted as that sounds
It's true
And yes, it's a true story
If you don't believe me...
Then God help you,
And you'll meet those Al-Qaeda babies.