but if you're listening...

just beyond the fog of
dreaming in your presence
so connected to the gravity of rainy days
in a bed i was in so frequently
it almost belonged to me
january blew icicles punching holes where
all the warmth leaked out weeks ago
you once told me its the people you break
that know you the best
somewhere you had kissed me long
as if i belonged
spouting your black coffee monologues
on street corners  never caring to
remove a cigarette from your mouth
like a painting ***** with reality
been waiting all my life just to worry about now
can it just wait?
can it all go away?
the rain stains dance out there
like the asphalt has turned to water
breaking my heart to
wake from dreams of you
refusing to rise from my place of waiting
straining to hear the echo remnant
melody of a song you never sang
pretending  you are here to
make this hole feel a little smaller
some authority to
my heart you hold
you're out of reach
beyond my senses
leaving your imprints like scars
suffocating in your silence
the empty quiet periods of my life
you leave and without accepting

...i grieve