do you still despise your father
because he had another woman,
& left you & your brother for her?
"oh no, now, no one will ever care"

do you still resent your mother
because she turned a blind eye
& collasped with shame when it came to light?
"oh no, I'll be more unyielding than that"

& so it is no small wonder to me
that when you gaze at  yourself
you must see the ***** that you are
you still take his money after all.

that sort of self-disgust must be
pretty hard to swallow, digest.
no wonder, you're always hungry & hollow
oh you'll consume anything he pays for

(I, myself, must admit I made the mistake of
finding an abyss inside a void)

but spaces are not always places
aches are not always pains
I loved you once