When I wake up with you I could wake up dead
When I wake up with him I want to see you
When I wake up with her I miss what you do
When I wake up with them I have nothing to say
But when I wake up alone, I have to pray.

All hope is gone I raise my hands.
I look up when there’s nothing else.
Shreds of fear shine down on me.
Block out my reality.
No will. No love. No blessings to count.
I’m tired of it. I’m done. I am out.

But when I die I’m going down.
I am no saint. I’m not heaven-bound.
Still I can not help but look.
I don’t see the grace or understand the book.

Only the lost can never be free.
I always look for you, but I have not found me.
Let me go and I will stay,
But I need space and need to pay