i believed,
i confessed,
to have faith in something,
in someone?
no less of a substance,
in a trance.
so why?
why won't it stop?
no,
really-
this burning,
clawing in my throat,
firey words that want to shoot up,
out of my tiny mouth,
desperate to keep the words down,
stuff it lower,
keep it at bay,
because these thoughts should stay in your head,
no.
wait,
no,
they should come out,
be released for someone,
anyone,
to hear,
no,
no.
but what difference does it make,
screaming,
shouting,
wailing that the two people,
i was so close too for the past months,
whom i trusted with my whole **** heart,
went behind my back,
left me on the cold,
but blanketed floor,
to sleep,
only to wake up alone,
throwing up in the sink,
while they ****** in another room,
they were both lost and confused.
but I was alone too.
didn't they think about that?
If they loved me so much why did they do this to me?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I understand,
but at the same time, I don't.
Don't tell me it was the alcohol.
Don't,
because it's not.

i want to move on,
I do.
but it'll be a bit,
before the claws in my throat,
can leave me be.