i don’t know much about love and heartbreak but—

i. i’m in this god forsaken awful party filled with people i’ve never seen before, and i’m trying to find you in the crowd because our hands are no longer clasped tight. my heart is hitting my ribcage harshly over and over again and my chest is locking up. i find you with your arm around her.

ii. i scrub and scrub until my skin is red and stripped of all your bitter truths and acid kisses. citrus and peach are the only things that don’t remind me of you, but now that i’m writing this, i think they do.

iii. i’m sitting on your bed in your *** pistols shirt and you’re playing with my hands. you tell me you love me and that you see a future with me. my eyes light up and i’m daydreaming of a life with you. but then i remembered, it’s 4am and your lips like to lie.

iv. your mama kisses me on the forehead and tells me i’m the daughter she’s always wanted. she also told me that if we don’t get married, she’s gonna have a stern talk with you. did she ever do that?

v.  my hades, i don’t know much about love and heartbreak— but you are always the first thing that comes to my mind when they ask me how i’m doing.