looking back at my past
i can’t help but feel pure disgust and shame
i choke on the lump in my throat if anyone mentions any slight detail about who i used to be and what i used to do

the men i’ve been with
the pills i took carelessly
the aching sore pain of my self hatred

craving love, i looked for it in all of the wrong places.
i let men touch my body and have their way with me while mama cried at home about how she wanted her little girl back

i’ve been tossed around and broken so many times that i simply have no more pieces left to spare

they always ask me who was i before the world turned me so cold
and i can’t help but reply
‘i don’t know.’